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TSA Agent Arrested for Putting Passenger’s Junk Down his Pants


TSA Miscreant Nelson Santiago

"That iPad was asking for it."

A TSA agent was arrested today for taking a passenger’s junk and shoving it down his pants. The Broward County Sheriff’s department revealed that the agent, Nelson Santiago, had actually stolen some $50,000 worth of passenger’s junk as it passed through his purview.

A spokesman for Continental Airlines told us, “We had numerous complaints from passengers about their junk missing after an encounter with the TSA. So we launched a six month investigation into goings on at Hollywood Airport.”

What they found was a TSA agent that simply couldn’t keep his hands off people’s junk. Hollywood International Airport spokesman Greg Meyer said, “It was unbelievable, by the time someone caught Santiago there were more than a dozen complaints a day from people who were perturbed about the way the their junk had been handled.

The airport brought in the Broward County Sheriff’s office to run the investigation, and they confirmed the airport’s dirty little secret, hundreds of people were having their junk stolen. Undersheriff Thomas Wheeler said, “We worked closely with security personnel from the airlines, because we were sure that where passenger’s junk was being handled inappropriately the TSA would ultimately turn out to be responsible.”

Sure enough, an employee of Continental Airlines spotted Nelson Santiago shoving a passenger’s junk down the front of his pants. According to Wheeler “The employee told us that it was one of the more disturbing things he’s seen while working for the airline.”

As it turned out, Santiago was selling people’s junk even before he finished his shift. Wheeler again, “That was the most disturbing part, he was logging onto eBay and Craigslist from his iPhone so that he could get people’s junk for sale immediately. He couldn’t even wait until he got home to wave their junk around.”

Santiago and his lawyer both refused comment.

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